Thursday, April 26, 2012

NEVER TOO LATE TO CHANGE

It has been weeks, maybe a month since my last blog post. I have been very busy, and I apologize greatly to those I have missed- the blog posts I have failed to read, which I sure will, the updates and experiences I have failed to share, and above all that, the passion for writing that I have ignored (not sure as to what word I should use, but to be honest, this was the very first word that has popped up in my mind). With all of these apologies and confessions, I am proud to say, I am back.. But not like how I was before. 

I have never been this inspired my whole life. It was like a total change in myself- I have magically, and instantly learned to read more, be a lot more independent, and not to mention the awareness boost that was, and is still in me, looking for more and more ways to just reach out to everyone; judge, but only out of the curousity- the curiousity to help; change, and I most certainly am referring to myself, to be more of what I want to be, not on how others want to see me as, but most of all pray, since I have not been the most religious type of woma.. I mean, girl, to have ever lived or step foot in this beautiful place we live in. Yes, a girl, for I have not the guts to make decisions for myself, but to keep the “yinyang” going, I am trying to. I really am. I am trying to become the best soldier/princess of my own world, and sooner or later step forth to another. The REAL world. I am not so sure as to why I am being so.. So alive! It is as if my conscience and my determination, which I believe just woke up from a very long sleep, teamed up and gave me a good old slap-in-the-face, whilst being very gentle, and strangely placid at the same time. 

I have been blogging for almost 2 years now (which I am very proud of, for it has brought me not only a boost in my vocabulary and communication/social skills but also my speed in typing *giggles*), and for the first year I blogged out of passion, and the fact that I love to write, and design at the same time! You know, all the htmls that keep my eyes wide awake with a steaming, super hot cup of coffee, and, oops! A couple of chocolates as well, which explains very well for the weight gain that took place (*laughs*) I could really say that I am loving the things I am doing, but sometimes I get out of control- no, not the same as a rabid dog that just spotted a stray cat and goes bonkers trying to catch or kill it, no, not that at all; what I meant was, well, the same thing, actually, only mentally. Ashamed, I am. I get my immaturity and anger get the best of me, and so with jealousy and the bad kind of curiousity. Well, taking a break from blogging and doing totally different stuff made me think. It made me think of a lot of things, and it was as if all of the negative energy drove away to an unknown place no being would ever want to live in, not unless you are twisted and.. No, no, Trisha. Stop this. 

But, every thing has its end, and fortunately the bad ones too. I am now, hopefully, a better person, with goals set straight and the will and determination to fulfill each one of them. I value a lot more now, like how God values all of us.. Despite the cruelty and disobedience shown. 

Just a heads up, my blog posts will still go on, but it will be more about the stuff that matters, and I will not post for the sake of posting, but because I WANT to, and it is out of love and passion. Enough said! Or maybe I just have nothing more to day. I feel as blank as my Math paper way back when I still hated the subject. Anyway, toodles! God bless you guys!

4 comments: