Sunday, November 8, 2015

WHEN IS THE "RIGHT TIME" TO GIVE UP?

When the person you love the most betrays your trust, do you forgive that person no matter how much you have been hurt? And if that happens again, how would you know if you should give up or keep fighting?

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I have been exposed to hospitals since I was a kid. My father is a doctor, and I am (in God's time) towards being one as well. With that said, I have witnessed all forms of pain and how different individuals express and cope with it.

The difference between the hospital-type of pain and that of a heartbreak is that you could give pain medication to patients, and within minutes that unwanted feeling goes away. We all wish that applies to heartbreaks as well. Tough break, right? Well, there are these "instant" solutions that make the pain go away- drinking and going out with friends. Sure, you might feel great for a moment, but as you go back home, alone, checking up on your phone every couple of minutes, hoping you get that "I'm sorry. I love you. Please don't leave me!" text, it could go two ways. When that doesn't happen, most go to bed thinking about what went wrong with the relationship, and in the long-run they realize that giving up and moving on is the right thing to do; on the other hand, when you do get that text, you just fall back into what might or might not be a good idea.

I have had my fair share of situations wherein a great deal of my over-all state of being and future (yes, I have made some pretty risky decisions) were at stake. I hope I made the right choices. But to help you guys out, these are some tips on how to know if you should give up or keep going.

1. Take a seat. Breathe. Think of what's really happening.

What really happened? What was the cause of that huge fight? No matter who or what started it, think of the situation itself. How much of an impact has it brought? Does it affect you so much that it could be a factor to certain conflicts in the future?

2.  Weigh the good and the bad.

Sure, your partner has done some pretty serious things once, twice, maybe even more. Does it outweigh the good? If it does, then you should seriously consider if you should still give it another go. If you think of the good and smile, instantly forgetting the bad, the only question is if it's a cycle. A great example for this is cheating. Your partner cheats, you get mad, a huge bouquet of flowers and chocolates with a romantic dinner comes your way. The next morning, you wake up forgetting it even happened. Sure, that's great. Good job. But if that same routine takes place more often than expected, I don't believe that's healthy. Your call.

3. Re-evaluate your self-worth.

Whether you've been together for 5 months or 5 years, time can never be the basis of a good relationship. I know people who get married after months of being together and are still happy and in love; conversely, those who are in a relationship for years still break-up. Multiple factors are involved.

You're beautiful. When you break it off and your partner suddenly (maybe out of anger) calls you ugly, worthless, a failure, and that no other person will be interested in you, shut it down. If there's a tendency for that kind of below-the-belt degradation, I apologize but that just won't work. But again, it's your call.

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” -Steve Maraboli

Alright. That's just about it. Always remember, you're beautiful. You can get through this. God is with us all.


20 comments:

  1. This blog entry really made me cry. Emotional pain such as break ups really do have a bigger impact in an individual, far more than physical pain. No amount of analgesic could relieve it. Luckily, I have stumbled on this one. This could help every girl who is in the same situation right now. Inspirational. Thanks. :)

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